On My Own

It’s okay 
I’ll lie and say It’s okay
So far I’ve gone to get to you
It’s okay 
You see through my hardened face
Trying to see the light
through the rain
Hoping that nothings gone
But still I hold on
this mask is running thin
I know I’m losing my senses
I pray each and every day
For me to stay awake
‘Cause I’m on my own
where are you
It’s too late
Won’t believe I came too late
The bells rung me out
I’ve been knocked down
I’m done for good
Though there’s no way
But still I hold on
this mask is running thin
‘Cause I’m on my own
But still I hold on
my breath now is running thin
I don’t care that I’m losing
I want you here to stay
For you complete me
But I’m here alone where are you
Where are you
No more things left to say
I just wanted you to stay
Cause I’m on my own
where are you

MID-YEAR [ back from hiatus ]

Hai!!
It's been a long time I didn't write here,
So I got lots of thing to write here,

Basically, Mid-Year Examination had ended bout two weeks ago and.......
I really nervous for the result especially for Addmath and Physics,
Exam for two weeks and I think my brain was about to "meletop" (baru mid-term,belum spm lagi)

After the exam, Eksplorasi Fizik pula for 3 days.Tired but really exciting.Thanks to Mimi as my Mentor for Fizik. You help me a lot :)

Then,Pesta STEP 2016.
My team with the title "Keunggulan Masjid Negara"
This is really tiring and our team lost but it's okay dear teammates,
Anise,Zaris,Syera,Aishah and Bella we did our best anyway :')

Done with STEP then, HARI GURU 2016,

with the theme "Tamadun Islam"

27 May 2016 was an exciting day and we,Batch TLM 1216 were really proud for done this event for our teachers 

With the waitress,Aliya and Syera

princess Anise

Us <3 

Srikandi Pen.Ketua Rumah Ruby,Sapphire,TOPAZ,Emerald

My class, 5 Jannatul Khuldi

Us

Dorm Kuning 2

Next is, Perkahwinan TLM

30 May 2016 was a great day for us,Pure and Tech SC students.

Alhamdulillah Nabil dan Farhah telas 'selamat berkahwin' pada hari tersebut and the wedding ceremony was fun walaupun sedikit hambar pada mulanya hahaha.(dahla aku jadi mak Nabil)Terima Kasih yang tidak terhingga kepada Ustazah Khadijah kerana membantu dan menyokong program ini and thanks a lot to all!

Such a tiring week fuhh

and holiday just one week left.Not too late to wish you guys Happy Holiday

#ggspm #PrayForTLM #SPM2016 A+

#happybirthdaymmm

Till we meet again,bye xo

Dear Mr.Kilmer : Special Drama [Chapter 10]

Hi guys.
How was your holiday? My holiday was not that great bcs I have a lot of homeworks to do and yeah I had to go to tuition along this week and I don't have much time to do homeworks.But I'd tried my best to finish all my task.One of my task that I've finished is,Drama Script for literature novel entitled Dear Mr.Kilmer.I just wanna share my not-so-great work here.hehe.Somehow I feel proud bcs I can finished it and I'm satisfied with that.This task is for our ULBS things and we were devided into groups and my groups got chapter 10 to be present and I'm the one who entrust to make the script for our presentation.So here we go,...

Dear Mr.Kilmer – Chapter 10 (Drama Script)

SCENE 1

(at Schermer’s house)

[Narrator]

Mr.Schermer handed Richard a copy of a newspaper .It’s about Mr.Kilmer death.

*flashback from the war* while Richard is still read the newspaper

Richard: “How could he died! I could have reply his letter this morning”

               “Thank you for the news by the way.I got to go now.See you later”

[Narrator]

Richard thanked Schermer for the news and run along the town until he reached his favourite oak tree and climbed up to the branch.He cries and clutch the unsent letter to his chest

Richard: “I will never write another poem! Never!”

[Narrator]

Then he walked home and write a poem about Mr.Kilmer

SCENE 2

(at Schermer’s house)

[Narrator]

Richard sitting with the Schermers in their little parlour and he read his poem to them.

*Richard read his poem on a piece of paper*

[Narrator]

Hannah cried quietly and Mr.Schermer shed a small tears.Richard realised that his poem had made them all think about Otto.

Mr.Schermer : “So what are you going to do with this poem,Richard?”

Richard : “I don’t know”

[Narrator]

Richard surprised by the question

Richard : “I used to send my best poems to Mr.Kilmer, but…..”

                 “Maybe I can show it to Mrs.Hansen.”

Mr.Schermer : “That won’t work.It is not enough”

Richard : “I don’t understand”

Mr.Schermer : “There are many boys from Turtle Lake fighting in this war.Some

                           have died already.The town is full of family who feel just the  

                           way you do.They need to read your poem.Your words would

                           mean a great deal and they will feel appreciated.”

Richard : “But how can I share this to people?”

Mr.Schermer : “The Turtle Lake Weekly might print it,”

Richard : “Then everyone could see it! Oh no…”

Mr.Schermer : “Isn’t that the idea?”

SCENE 3

(at the newspaper office)

Hannah walked with Richard to the newspaper office.They found old Mr.Garrison setting type by hand.He was the newspaper’s owner and its sole employee.

Mr.Garrison : “Can I help you?”

*Richard stood in silence,unsure to begin*

Hannah : “He’s written a poem,about Mr.Kilmer.”

                 “Give it to him,Richard.”

[Narrator]

Richard gently handed his poem to Mr.Garrison.He was too nervous to stay and see his reaction.

*Hannah and Richard going out from the newspaper office*

[Narrator]

They headed towards Hannah’s house.

Richard : “Maybe he won’t print it.”

Hannah : “Don’t you want him to?”

Richard : “Hmm..you don’t understand.If my poem reveal on the

                  newspaper,Pa will see it for sure.”

Hannah : “Maybe he will like it.Who knows?”

Richard : “No.You don’t know my Pa.I’m enough of an embarrassment to him 

                  already.If the whole town sees my poem,it will drive him crazy.”

SCENE 4

[Narrator]

Next few days,Richard walked into town at dawn so he could be at the newspaper office when it appeared.Then the first bundle of papers hit the sidewalk,he bought a copy.He shocked after seeing the front page of the newspaper.

Richard : “Oh no!”

[Narrator]

Quickly he turned the page.There it was,square in the middle: “In Memory of Sergeant Joyce Kilmer” by Richard Knight.His poem on the newspaper.

Richard : “Oh my god! Pa will sure see this.I’m dead.”

*Richard quickly walked to the farm and joined Pa with his work*

SCENE 5

[Narrator]

Richard said nothing about his poem.After they finished the works,Pa picked up the day’s mail at the mailbox.Richard feel so nervous how Pa would react.

Pa : “Richie! It says here that your poet friend was killed.Did you know that?”

Richard : “Yeah I did”

 [Narrator]

Without another word,he quickly walked up the stairs to his bedroom because he don’t want to see Pa reaction when he saw his poem on the newspaper.

*Pa shocked*

Pa : “Oh my god Richie.”

*Pa appeared in the Richard’s bedroom,holding the newspaper in his hand*

Pa : “Can I have a word with you,Rich?”

*Richard nodded*

**silence for a while**

Pa : “I guess I’ve never told you much about my brother,Roland”

Richard : “No.You’ve never have,Pa.”

Pa : “Well he was a lot like your brother.Had some idea that he had live forever like nothing would ever get the best of him.He was a fine man.I don’t think a day goes by when I don’t imagine him working this land alongside you and me.But then,came ’98 and the war with spain.I was too young to enlist.But Roland was all heated up about doing his patriotic duty.So he signed up and went.It was just a short little war.He was the only one to fight in Cuba and he is the only one who died.He was killed in the Battle of El Carney on July 1.I’ll never forget what one of the big city papers wrote about that battle,’American casualties were slight’,it said.Roland was not a slight casualty!”

*Pa started to cry*

[Narrator]

Pa cries and Richard was shocked

Pa : “As I watched them lower his coffin in his grave,I kept whispering to myself,’A world is gone! A world is dead and gone!”

*Pa held out the newspaper page*

Pa : “How did you know,Richie? How did you know those words?”

*Richard stay in silence*

[Narrator]

Now,Pa understood why Richard wrote poems

SCENE 6

(at the living room)

[Narrator]

The war came to an end in mid-November.The Allies were victorious.Richard picked up a copy of the Sioux City Newspaper and showed it to Angie and Pa.

*Pa is laughing*

Richard : “What’s  so funny,Pa?”

Pa : “I’m just thinking about poor Gus still training and working out to get ready for a war that’s over and done! He still got a lot time to training and he’s going to hate every minute of it!”

*Richard and Angie laughing*

[Narrator]

And so was a danger to Otto.Richard knew that anti-German feelings would linger for a while in the little town but they would not last forever.

-THE END-

That's all the best I can do and I hope my teacher will give a higher mark to my group.And the important thing is,I really really hope our drama presentation will gonna be okay.haha.Oh yah I got the character as Richard Knight who is the main character in this novel so I feel a bit nervous.

till we meet again,bye XD

ENIGMA

I was sitting at the balcony on a cloudy evening and come out with this,...



Looked up to the sky
I close my eyes like the the whole world is just for me
I don't even count,
How many days had passed
How many months had passed
since that broken things hit me
Feel like I lost the stunning gold
Feel like I lost in catch my breath
Dying and drowning
Hope fell down like a sandclock
Trying to stand up,
But the ground keep pulling my barefoot
That I fail to get up
Trying to step forward,
The way are too long and wide
That make me wanna give up
Feel so lonely in the way
So I need you to fill up my world,my day
Standing beside me
So that I can go on
Sigh when I realised
Those will never come true
You and me are like a long way winter to go
Don't know when will the spring come
Trying to escape,
There's no way,but lead me to an enigma
Trying hard to fight with this feeling,
But the heart,the memories,the love ,
don't say so
Always end up smiling everytime seeing your face
And this heart really want you to stay here.
Am I still in love with you?
I'm in enigma


((would any song's composers interested with this lyrics that I made??))

Continue the Journey

Hye
14/2/2016 bang! my holiday end
Tonight is my last night at home before I'm going back to hostel (I don't want)

*taking a deep breath*

Ok actually there are so many things that I should just go through
Ugh feels like I cannot
But I try to put on my mind, "that's gonna be okay"

There's a lot of thing such,
I'm gonna live in my new dorm.I need to accept this no matter what and this driving me insane past few weeks till now.I really cannot (can I cry)
Be strong dearself.This gonna be okay.
Your new dormates are awesome (yea I hope so)
I hope I'm not being abandon and so on
I need to adapt with them ya I have to 

Then,the most important thing is,Myself
I keep thinking about myself,but I just keep thinking without taking any action to change myself.
This whole holiday spent by go shopping and fangirling
Really unproductive holiday right
I will sit for SPM but I still in lazy state
What happen to myself huhu

Cut those things out!
This road is still long and you just at 1/4 kilometres
You need enough fuel to finish the journey
So I need to 100% ready for SPM
Don't think you can't
Think you can!

#notetodearself

see again,bye

Apology

Hye!
Nothing much serious story I wanna share today but I gotta share about my favourite song which has such a deep meaning and touched my heart and also related to my few experience that I wanna share tonight

The song entitled "Apology" sing by boyband group named iKON.This song released about 2 or 3 months ago I don't really remember the exactly date this song had been released.As the tittle shown,you can guess what the whole song about right? So here, the lyrics of this song....

You were always at the same place,

Waiting for me but,

I was gone,I was gone

Don't trust me like a fool,

When I said I would protect you,

They're all lies

Especially today,the typical scenes on the tv drama,

That I always watch are laughing at me,

Like a criminal,I run away,

You yell at me to go away,

You always knew that I'm selfish,

I think you were burdensome to me by wanting a little attention,

Without even leaving that one photo,

I think of myself only,even on the last moment,

Sorry,sorry,

Sorry for not being able to protect you,

I hope you live well,

Sorry,sorry,forget about me,it hurts,

The promise we made to be together forever no longer exists,

Sorry for not being able to protect you,

I'm always at a different place,

Every night with my friends,

I'm out all night,

There's one last missed call from you on my phone that's flipped over,

Today,the radio played the songs that we enjoyed together,

And I hope I'm just one of the many people in your life,

That come and go like the wind,

I hope that as tears and cherry blossoms fall,

There will be new life sprouting from them,and

I hope our memories are short and beautiful,just like the sunset,

And I hope,all of these thins are able to push at your slender back with good nature,

Sorry,sorry I couldn't protect you,

I hope you'll be well,

I hope you forget me as well,although it hurts,

Now I just can't say anything,

I'm sorry that I'm not good enough,

That until the very end,I only show you a small part of me,

I couldn't fill you up,

Please forgive me.I hope you meet someone better than me,kinder than me,

I'm sorry I couldn't keep it..

Such a beautiful and meaningful words right.This song make me think....

It's good if all the guys in this world are like that.I mean they know they're wrong.Bcs almostly,the broken relationship are caused by the guy.Yea you know how ego are they.okay I'm not here to blame the guy.I'm just saying my thoughts based on my experience.Girls mostly,hate their ex-boyfriend after the break up,like that guy is totally a damn and so on.But,when it comes to guy,it just like... "ok whatever,do I need to care?" mostly the guy are like that and I think that is really not a gentleman behaviour.After a few months or few moments,girl will be like "go get a life la dude I don't need u".That means they'd move on.Perhaps.And the things that I like to remind is,guy always being "bajet hot" or "perasan" that their ex-girlfriend still care about themself then act like,hate that girl or avoiding her and bla bla bla.Omg seriously dude,that girl really don't need a trash like you.It just your feeling that you must get rid all of them.

As the closing,

Life is beautiful,don't bother yourself think about that shitty broken things.

Just do what makes you happy and be positive all the time,

If there are still the person like that,just ignore them.They just don't exist actually.hahaha

So,enjoy this holiday and Happy CNY (not too late to wish right?)

till we meet again,xo

Beginning of 2016

Hi!

So now is already 2016.
WELCOME 2016
Two Thousand Sixteen will be a tough year for me bcs I will sit for SPM *gunshot* *bang* *dush*
Ok,
Basically 2016 begun with not-so-happy-feeling yah like Idk how to describe.
On the first day I went back to hostel with a very heavy heart.I gotta know my dorm was not at the same floor like before and I felt so not satisfied with that but I REDHA je lah as long I still have the same beloved dormates.
Then I went to the hall to register for school and gotta know my class
I'm in 5 Jannatul Khuldi and when I read through the list name *bam!*
I'm in the same class with my ex and I was like "what on earth mannnn"
I don't know to feel excited or what bcs I will face him for this whole year and everyday!
I remind myself  'its okay,I'd move on'
I felt so-so to be in that class like ugh lantak ah pape pun
Then I'm being force to be assistant of the class LOL
The sad thing is tak sekelas dah dgn Zaim hahahahahahaha okbye

actually tak move on dgn 4JA.I really miss that class and I want us to be in the same class lagi this year but...........
Ok takpelah REDHA je la kan
Belajar ok. Cikgu pun ok
Then,
A few days before MSSD Basketball and Ujian 1,I got fever
I'm sick for a week and I miss the Ujian also MSSD
Like the worst fever I ever had huhu
Takpe ujian Allah nak bagi. REDHA
At the same time when I was in fever, on 25 January,
I'm official 17.Tua dah kan masyaallah

Celebrate birthday dalam demam haih sungguhlah tak seronok.Kat hospital plak tu
By the way Thank you so much kepada yang wish! :))
After few days, at school,
I got shocked bcs "Dorm Kuning 3 dirombak"
and I was like "wth mannn why must be my dorm"
Dahlah kene tukar floor then now kami nak dirombak dan pindah masuk ke dorm lain?
Wth buat keputusan tak bincang dulu dengan kami
Kecewa,Sedih,Marah semua ada
Tak pernah rasa semarah ni dalam hidup
A week past but still rasa tak boleh terima hakikat yang nama KUNING 3 dah takde
Dah penat marah,Penat sedih.Tak larat dah.nak cepat SPM then keluar dari sekolah
Mama ayah cakap jangan jadikan bende tu masalah besar,fokus SPM je
Thank you mama ayah for give me strength.I feel alive
Takpelah REDHA je.
The worst beginning but I'm trying my best to be positive all the time
All the things happen for a reason right?
Hashtag Redha.HAHAHAHA

That's all
Bye
안녕!

p/s:homework menggunung setinggi gunung kinabalu lmao